Imagine: suddenly you’re in charge at Nintendo. You’ve got just 24 hours to order any course of action, and the deal is, once you’ve ordered it, the company will do its best to carry out your wishes for the next year, no matter the cost or consequences.

Here’s what I’d do, right now: (more…)

As I was waiting for the evening hour to come around so I could go out on the town and revel in tomorrow’s day off, I decided to pop Wii Sports in and play a few sets in tennis.

Sweet, sweet nostalgia, I thought to myself as that title screen faded into view, the quirky music taking me back to a time in 2006 when waggling was new and Nintendo still had a lot to prove.

But then after that first serve things fell apart. Where was the hit detection? Why can’t I do a backhand hit whenever I want? Where’s the 1:1? I lost in three straight sets as my onscreen Mii’s flailed and flapped about the grass courts like blind men who were, well, trying to play tennis. My pro rating was stripped from me in a puff of smoke (literally, that’s what it does).

And that’s when it hit me: I’m never, ever going back. Kool Aid drinker, obsessed fanboy—whatever you want to call me I’m completely fine with it. I just can’t see myself playing certain games the “old way” ever again. For me, the paradigm shift has happened, probably a long time ago and without my knowledge at the time, but it has happened nevertheless.

With this in mind, I’m kicking myself for leaving Wii Sports Resort at the office on Friday.