Top 20 things you learned from the NES
Thursday, September 27th, 2007 at 9:50am by Jack
With all of this Wii talk recently, we often forget that there are other Nintendo systems out there today that need a little love once in a while. No, sorry InvisibleMan, I’m not talking about the Nintendo DS and its plethora of Pokemon platitudes, I’m talking about the original NES!
Luckily, Fusion Ring has a list of the 20 things they learned from the NES up today. Here’s a quick sample before you jump on over there check them all out.
No one jumps around the NES!
Franticly waving the NES controller is the original Wii.
No matter what you do for her, the princess will always get back into trouble.
I can’t remember how many times I lost my progress in a great game (of whatever) because my younger sisters were jumping around my parents’ bedroom a tad bit too close to the ol’ NES. Damn those faulty connectors, damn them I say!
Tell me though, what did you learn from the NES?
September 27th, 2007 at 11:08 am
If it doesn’t do the job when you stick it in, try moving it side-to-side.
I still use that advice today, and now I have six kids who love the NES.
September 27th, 2007 at 11:11 am
It isn’t cheating because no where in the manual does it tell you how far away from the screen you’re supposed to stand while using the zapper.
September 27th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
That all catridges need a blow now and then, like everyone else!
(Or did that started with the SNES? I can’t recall…)
September 27th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
NES Controllers do not break, not matter how hard you throw them into the floor after dying for the 348th (that hour) time playing Ninja Gaiden.
September 27th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
…also, the “no jumping around the NES” rule is interesting, especially when playing Track & Field with the Power Pad.
September 27th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
when a game wouldn’t work we used alcohol and q-tips to clean the games (many of you cringe), but those damn cleaning kits were expensive. a couple blows and jamming it in the right spot to get the game to work and you’re off. faxanadu anyone?
September 27th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
My friend and I had a series of “Nintendo Laws” or Nintendo Logice
Nintendo Law states that if you have a single toe on a ledge, you cannot fall.
Nintendo Law states that there will be an Ice Stage, and you will slide on the Ice. There will probably also be a fire and a water stage.
Nintendo Law states that if a red enemy takes one hit, a blue enemy will take two hits.
Nintendo logic explains how you can hold a weapon made of fire without being harmed, but you can be killed by a fireball hitting you.
Ninendo logic says that a plumber can jump 100 feet, grow to twice his size, and break bricks with his fist, but can be killed by a turtle.
Etc …
September 28th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
I learned that 2 speed-ups, a missle function, a laser shot, 2 “options”, and one shield is all a space craft pilot needs to save the galaxy.
September 28th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
This has special meaning to me because I just pulled my NES out of my closet this week to play Tecmo Bowl and RBI Baseball. After blowing a thousand times, moving it from side to side, pushing it in just enough to lock in, and cleaning it with a q-tip, I have a new method:
Don’t lock the cartridge in at all. Push the cartridge down ALL the way and then jam something in there so it stays in place. Turn it on, and voila!
September 28th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Or you could try sacrificing a goat and pray to the patron god of gaming.