Contest: Tell us your best flight-related story, win Sky Crawlers for Wii
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 3:39pm by Boss Hog
Wanna win a free flying game? Tell us your best, most funny, most amusing flight-related story in the comments below, and win Sky Crawlers: Innocent Aces for Wii. The winner will be announced next Tuesday, as selected by Infendo overlord David Cole. Good luck!
February 2nd, 2010 at 4:21 pm
One time, when I was about 7 or 8, my parents brought me to an air show at Fort Devens. There were all sorts of planes that showed the audience their stuff. Pilots zoomed above us at high speeds. The audience was impressed, but I just cried and cried and cried. I wanted it all to be over. The planes were loud and scary and destructive. So, naturally, my parents decided to sign me up for flight camp. Needless to say that that didn’t go over well. I guess this isn’t a flight story, but more of a no-flight story, since I haven’t been on a plane since then. I refuse. My favorite plane? The Stealth Bomber, because it’s silent.
February 2nd, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Every time I step on a plane, I do a quick scan of all the potential terrorists and make a mental note of where they are sitting. Then, during the flight, I imagine potential confrontations with said terrorists and how I am going to neutralize them with a poke in the eye and a swift kick to the knee cap. At that point, the plane lands safely and the press dubs me “The Anti-terrorist”. This is true story.
February 2nd, 2010 at 7:29 pm
I once had to fly to Oklahoma City. We had to stop in Tulsa due to weather over OKC. We waited on the tarmac until there was a break in the storm clouds over OKC, then the pilot took off again. As we approached OKC, the pilot told us the storm had come back, but he was going to try it anyway Imagine that, but there was a big football game in OKC the next day, so maybe Football trumps TSA regulations.
Anyway, I don’t mind turbulence. In fact I think flights without turbulence are kind of boring. Maybe it’s genetic: my grandfather flew in the Battle of Britain. This was not a boring flight.
We didn’t land so much as we stopped flying a foot or two above the runway and dropped the rest of the way. A person near me called out “Somebody should get there butt kicked for that!” I said, “I think we just got our butts kicked for that.”
February 2nd, 2010 at 9:10 pm
My first flight experience. A few years post-9/11, going on a small plane with the University of Akron football team I was going to cover them for the college school paper.
I had longer than usual hair, and they were doing “random” people checks to see if we were terrorists. Shockingly, I was selected. Got the full pat down, take off our belt and all that good stuff. Then they went through the second round of “random” checks – and I was picked again! Go me, should have played the lottery that day.
Now onto the flight. I’m not a heights person, or a water person. So of course of my flight there is a lighting storm with plenty of rain. As we are taking off, I’m gripping tight to the chair, scared for my life while the photographer who is sitting next to me is reading a newspaper and laughing at me. I was pretty sure that was my last day on the earth. I loved how through all the turbulence – and there was plenty – the pilot got on the PA and said, “Don’t minor the minor shaking.” RIGHT.
Somehow, I survived the flight, the though the Zips didn’t survive the 48-0 thrashing at the hand of Virginia. Good times.
February 2nd, 2010 at 10:36 pm
When I was around 8 yrs old, my whole family was lucky enough to get a trip to Hawaii for a somewhat cheap price. We got on the flight and everything, and of course, being the child I was, I was super excited to be able to fly through the air for the first time. Unfortunately, nobody bothered to tell me about turbulence, or to me at the time, the “earthquakes in the sky”. I was peacefully playing my trusty GameBoy when the turbulence began, and within minutes, my dad (who was sitting next to me) probably regretted chosing the spot beside me. It wasn’t too much, most of the spew just hit my dad and my GameBoy with trusty Pokemon inside…pretty funny when I look back now, but boy, was my dad angry afterwards! Fortunately, my GameBoy survived without nary any evidence of damage. Mabye my family should’ve ran me through the whole barf-bag routine before they let me on…though my other siblings got a hoot out of it, much to the displeasure of my father. Ah, that’s the glory of memories. Life goes on, but your experiences never die!
February 2nd, 2010 at 11:06 pm
Oh, this one is cool. My father-in-law is a pilot. He flies over seas for UPS, and he brings us cool stuff from Hong Kong. He transported most of the fish for the Atlanta Aquarium.
We went up to visit him last summer and he took us out to see his private planes. He flies stunt planes. That he built himself! The thing is like the size of a small car, but with wings. I’m kind of tall, and I barely fit in the seat. It’s a bi-plane, and he flew from the back seat. I was right up front, with the stick right in front of me. It’s on a bar, so it moves with his.
Taking off was crazy. You can’t really see over the nose, so he zig-zaged do the end of the runway, lined it up, and then punched it. It got in the air surprisingly fast, and then we were over the city. It was AMAZING. We were still low enough that I could see everything. It looked like a model.
He let me take the stick for a bit, which was pretty scary. Then he asked if I wanted him to do any tricks. I asked him to do a quick roll, which was trippy. I didn’t want to push it and get sick, so we didn’t do any more tricks, but we flew around for a bit and then went back. Landing was scary, since I couldn’t really see the runway (he did it mostly by instruments).
It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever done, and I can’t wait to do it again. Next time I’m going to have him do more tricks!
February 2nd, 2010 at 11:12 pm
Oh. It has to be about us. I was going to tell you about the day that the land of unicorns was invaded by planes that had cows as pilots. You see, the cows were what wiped out the unicorn race. Darn.
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:44 am
One day, our whole family was taking a flight to the Dominican Republic. It was my first flight ever, and I was immensely scared. I kept as brave an expression as I could, but I just know the insanity was visible in my eyes.
It was then that I decided to fall back on some distraction. I had smuggled my DS along, and quickly turned it on (supposing some fun game was in there). A big “FRESHLY PICKED- TINGLE’S ROSY RUPEELAND” appeared on-screen.
So now I had to choose between two terrors. I decided to face Tingle in the end, to find out it wasn’t that bad of a game.
Later the plane got in a storm and stuff got really bad. Isn’t it something that Tingle kind of helped me through it?
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:09 am
A couple of years ago, my girlfriend and I were flying down to Ft. Lauderdale for a vacation. After we reached proper altitude and were allowed to begin using electronic devices, we cracked open our DSes and began messing around in Pictochat.
About 15 minutes into our Pictochat session, a third person entered. Someone else on the plane joined our Pictochat room! After chatting for a few minutes, it became evident that it was a little boy flying with his mother. We talked about games and doodled a bit, and he really liked my drawings. He liked them so much, in fact, that he asked if I would mind creating an actual drawing on paper for him!
I gladly obliged and told him where I was sitting. A minute later, that sweet little boy (no older than 8 or 9) walked over to my seat with his mom, pen and paper in hand. I drew him a basketball going through a hoop, and while I thought it was a silly little drawing, he was simply ecstatic. He thanked me, and with a huge grin on his face, he returned with his mom to their seats.
While my girlfriend and I talked about how random, crazy, and funny the event was, I was filled with so much joy that I made that little boy’s flight, and hopefully his day.
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:59 am
My brother is a pilot, he started flying small planes, and now flies for airlines. If you visit the forums, you probably know I am obsessed with RC planes. So one afternoon, I took my brother out to the park to show him my planes and give him a chance to fly. I figured, hey, he’s a pilot, this should be a cinch for him! So I got my trainer plane up in the air, and passed the controls to him. He flew out away from us, then decided to turn and come back. Well, the orientation of the plane confused him, and I watched him fly that thing straight into the ground from 200 feet up, hitting the one patch of concrete on the grassy field! He broke the motor, wing, fuselage and prop. I’ll never let him live that one down. So if you ever get on an airplane, and here the pilot say, “Hi, I’m Dan, and I’ll be your captain for the flight” just remember this little story.
February 3rd, 2010 at 12:00 pm
I was on an international flight, and I had this woman next to me. She kept asking the stewardess for the red wine that came in those little bottles during the first seven hours of the flight. By the seventh time, when the stewardess refused to give any more (by this time she was all ready tipsy) she started asking the other man next to her and me to get her the red wine. In short, that other man and I were too nice for our own good. And God… that’s how I ended up watching Dragonball Evolution in order to drown out her voice…
February 3rd, 2010 at 12:28 pm
I think Instant_Awesome should win.
February 3rd, 2010 at 12:47 pm
my favorite flight experiences both happened on the same day in 1989 in hawaii. our family went on vacation and we went on a glider ride. these are enclosed gliders with a pilot and you’re towed up by a small single engine plane and released once you reach a certain altitude. well i was in one with my sister and my dad was in another with my brother. the pilots were really good and doing tricks that they weren’t supposed to with passengers. our pilot turns around and looks at me and my sister and says “do you wanna fly?” and i’m like heck yeah i do, but how i’m thinking. so he turns around and hands me the control stick, i mean the whole thing not attached! my sister about craps her pants, because at this point we’re thinking no one is flying the glider. long story short it was a spare stick and you could fly either from the front or back seat depending on the pilots preference. we were never in any danger, but the look on jennifer’s face was priceless. i was about 9 at the time and thought it was hilarious. my brother however, was 7 and once we landed the first thing out of his little mouth was “dad wasn’t that cool our pilot did a flip”, right in front of his supervisor. the look on the pilot’s face said it all, if scott wasn’t 7 he would have kicked his a$$. all in all a fun and funny day.
February 3rd, 2010 at 2:27 pm
I must’ve been about 11 or so. We had just taken off on a 2 hour flight to Phoenix, AZ and I was already bored, so I figured I’d read the barf bag. As I’m perusing the finer points of it’s instructions we hit some turbulence and my older sister starts to shuffle uncomfortably in her seat. More turbulence and she demands the barf bag.
“Why?”
“Just give it to me!”
“What… Are you gonna blow chu…”
As if my words opened a valve, a vile stream gushed forth from her mouth, drenching the me, the barf bag, and everything else in it’s unholy path. And here I am, covered in regurgitated turkey, stuffing, and sweet potatoes… (Did I mention it was the day after Thanksgiving?)
I didn’t get to change my clothes for some three hours after that (until we got our bags and I found a bathroom). What a look. What a smell…
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:51 pm
7twenty7 (Roxette – Album: Have a nice day)
7twenty7 is up in the air
you know i feel her hands
on me everywhere
i thought i didn’t care
now i’m saying a prayer
hey mister, do you know the way
to salvation square?
it’s a long long winter ’til the birds will sing
oh i’ll be waitin’ all night for the phone to ring
i’m goin’ up in smoke and phoney magazines
everything is just pieces of my stupid dreams
everything is just pieces of my stupid dreams
with the clouds passin’ by
with the clouds passin’ by
it’s all right
7twenty7 is close to the sky
it carries the world
between hello and goodbye
like the monday we met
that disappeared in a breath
like the sunday she left
forever smellin’ of death
another jet black night, another drink to go
oh i’ll be diving my head in the pure white snow
god, you’d better take care of this gold skinned friend
tell me, will i ever see her again
tell me, will i ever see her again
February 4th, 2010 at 12:00 am
7twenty7 (Roxette – Album: Have a nice day)
7twenty 7 is ready to move
you know she packed her bags
with nothing left to prove
i thought i didn’t care
now i’m fallin’ through
wouldn’t you?
well, it’s a long long journey to the other side
oh i’ve been wishin’ all night
i was on that flight
and god, you’d better take care of the sweetest eyes
i hear myself swallowin’ the tears i cry
i hear myself swallowin’ the tears i cry
7twenty7 is up in the air
you know i feel her hands
on me everywhere
i thought i didn’t care
now i’m saying a prayer
hey mister, do you know the way
to salvation square?
it’s a long long winter ’til the birds will sing
oh i’ll be waitin’ all night for the phone to ring
i’m goin’ up in smoke and phoney magazines
everything is just pieces of my stupid dreams
everything is just pieces of my stupid dreams
with the clouds passin’ by
with the clouds passin’ by
it’s all right
7twenty7 is close to the sky
it carries the world
between hello and goodbye
like the monday we met
that disappeared in a breath
like the sunday she left
forever smellin’ of death
another jet black night, another drink to go
oh i’ll be diving my head in the pure white snow
god, you’d better take care of this gold skinned friend
tell me, will i ever see her again
tell me, will i ever see her again
February 4th, 2010 at 12:01 am
Once, flying from Atlanta to Pittsburgh to visit some good friends of mine, I was seated next to a much older woman named Lorna. She told me I was “such a nice young man” and proceeded to tell me stories about here deadbeat, baseball-card-collecting 40-year-old son with a bad attitude, and then offered me half of her unusually large banana.
It was strange.
February 4th, 2010 at 10:49 am
Recently my wife and I took a trip to China that involved several smaller flights inside the country. There were some interesting differences that I noticed on our first flight within China.
The first difference was quickly visible. In Canada, flight attendants are apparently scheduled according to seniority, so our cushy international flights were dominated by slightly older flight attendants with “sturdy” builds and no-nonsense temperments. In China, flight attendants are intentionally limited to the most attractive girls possible, all dressed in very cute uniforms and encouraged to be friendly (and a little bit flirty) with passengers.
The second difference was even more interesting, and is the basis of my story. Hopefully it’s not too long:
During one flight, my wife went to use the washroom and left me studying chinese lessons in my seat. Unfortunately we hit a small spot of turbulence – nothing serious, especially compared to what we experienced during the longer international flight – but it was enough to get the seatbelts sign flashing. This must have been annoying for my wife, who was potentially stuck in the small cramped washroom for a couple of minutes until the sign went off, but it really wasn’t a big deal so I just went back to studying.
Not two minutes later, something odd happened. The flight attendants lined up in the aisle and all started to sing. These gorgeous girls then began dancing as well – which quickly took my eyes away from studying for a few minutes. I didn’t really understand what was happening, and trying to piece together the lyrics was more than my introductory Chinese could handle. The only recognizable bits and pieces I could take were “being so happy together”, and “we should always stay together”.
I spent a minute or two wondering if I should take out our camera to catch this on video, but decided to just sit back and enjoy the show instead. It was probably just an advertisement our way of saying thanks for choosing this airline anyway, right? After a couple minutes the dancing finished and the flight attendants returned to their regular jobs.
Just as I’m starting to wonder why my wife hasn’t returned, one of the cute girls comes over and notices the empty seat. Placing her hand on mine, she smiles like an angel and asks in broken English if I’m ok during the flight. I reply in broken Chinese that everything is fine and her singing was very enjoyable. She laughs and blushes a little, then politely excuses herself and goes back to work.
Once my wife gets back to her seat, she looked a bit annoyed. I quietly relate the events that she missed out on, and ask what it was all about. Was it a advertisement for the airline? Something commonly seen on Asian flights? Could she fill in any details that I might’ve missed? And why did she look so annoyed?
My wife leaned over and whispered that she was annoyed because she had been stuck in an extra seat at the back all this time. The flight attendants were blocking the way back to the front, and told her it was dangerous to return to her seat now. She then intimated that the song and dance routine was to calm the passengers. Lyrics about being “happy together” were really telling people not to panic if we crash land, and “staying together” was instructing people not to push and shove others in a desperate bid to escape the plane if flames break out. Apparently many people were scared for their life because safety records for Asian flights aren’t as good as in North America.
Can you imagine flight attendants here doing that? Getting in line to sing and dance, and try to pacify a crowded plane? Although I enjoyed the spectacle on our China flight, just thinking about the reaction if any local flights tried the same thing makes me laugh to this day.
As an added bonus, I now have two choices if ever asked how I want die: either on a plane surrounded by the most beautiful girls I can imagine, all of them smiling, singing and dancing to pacify me… or the old fallback of smothered by topless girls on roller skates.
February 4th, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Dude, back in 2004 I was flying from Sydney to Australia. Don’t ask why I was in Australia…you’d probably think I’m crazy but I’m not.
Anyway, so our plane crashed on this island and it was pretty freaky. So then we got off the island–well, 6 of us did, and we had to keep it a secret that the other people were still there.
We ended up going back to the island but then we got sucked back in time 30 years. Yeah, pretty nuts, huh? So now we’re back in the present…I think. And my buddy just came back to life…
So I guess this really isn’t that funny after all. But if anyone gets this, can you tell my Mom I’m okay? Her name is Carmen Reyes and she lives in LA.
Thanks dudes.
February 4th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Ever been on a plane with someone sitting next you that has NEVER been on one before? Well, imagine what it was like to have that experience multiplied by 40. I was on a smaller plane on a 2 hour trip to visit a friend that had moved from our home town due to a job opportunity (a veeeery good job opportunity at that) and the plane only seated 80 total so right from the start it was bound to be a jumpy trip due to what would normally be small winds causing turbulence on the smaller plane. I was already set for the ride since it was about the 4th time I’d traveled on a smaller plane, but nothing could have prepared me for what was yet to come.
As soon as we were going to take off, it all began spiralling down… well, figuratively that is, or I wouldn’t be typing this. Someone started shouting: we’re running out of highway, we’re crashing into the wall! And that usually gets laughed at when it’s one person on the plane that never flew before… but suddenly another one started shouting, and then another one, and another one, and then someone threw up, and babies started crying because their parents were crying, and then out of nowhere you could hear someone in the back confessing his sins (turns out he cheated on his wife with her “best friend”… twice. The last time being just on the morning before making this trip, and his wife is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO HIM, so once the plane took off I figure he had even a worst time than me during the flight). And then came the first mild turbulence and every single one of the “No-fly” grabbing their seats as if they were made of cheese and the seat was their cracker. And then the food and beverages cart came. And they started drinking… heavily. Half started to laugh histerically every time turbulence ocurred (one would think due to being drunk and veeeery scared of not being on the ground) and the other half decided it was time to congregate into an impromptu Mass session praying at the top of their lungs to every saint in the book. This went on for a whole hour until the turbulence stoped and the pilot announced we were preparing for our landing. And THEN it’s when they all went crazy. Remember the take-off? Well, the landing was like that in reverse but much, much worse:
- Why is the plane falling? Oh god, were going to crash! It’s all your fault (talking to me) because you didn’t pray with all of us and god is punishing you for not believing in his word (go figure, for them God was going all Old Testament on me because I didn’t pray and I was taking them with me for the ride)! It’s you and your crazy (yeah, I’m the crazy one) videogames and your dirty magazines (I was playing with my DS or reading Geek for most of the trip, so in her head I was basically the anti-christ).
-Miss, can I have another scotch, and please make it a double?
* I’m sorry sir, but once the landing starts all food and beverage is prohibited and you have to remain seated.
- But I need it. I don’t want to be sober when I die!
- Joe, I forgive you for what you did with Erika! (Joe being the cheater, and Erika the wife’s “Best Friend”, so basically Joe got away with cheating).
And then we hit the ground and I imagined it was all over, but nooooooo. You have to remember that once he’s landed, the pilot accelerates in order to make it to the gate assigned to the plane and wouldn’t you know once he started accelerating it was groundhog day all over again until the plane made it to it’s gate and we started to gather our belongings and make our way out of the unit. One of the stewardess actually thanked me for not praying or freaking out during the trip, to which I replied “Thank you for not opening the emergency exit and jumping out of the plane” and she laughed out so loud everyone stared at her and she turned red due to the moment. While making my way out of the door I heard another stewardess talking to the pilot saying “We ran out of alcohol! I’ve been doing this for 15 years and I’ve never seen anything like this”.
The funniest thing was seeing all the No-Fly Mass attenders gathering together and kissing the floor as soon as they were on the bottom floor of the airport (apparently the second floor doesn’t count) before getting their luggage. As for me? My friend and his girlfriend (now wife) picked me up at the airport, then we went to pick up another friend and made our way to a Sushi bar and got plastered with 20 bottles of Sake and assorted sushi rolls and vegetables. At no point did we start praying or confessing sins since that is not what you’re supposed to do when you’re drunk… well, not when you’re REAAAALLY drunk and magically make your way into either a carpet or a bed (or half and half as it was on my case).
February 8th, 2010 at 8:52 am
once, flying from san fransisco to tucson, i got stuck in a middle seat. we take off, and i’m sort of making small talk with the woman on my left, about nothing in particular (she eventually gave me a pamphlet on buddhism), when our conversation is interrupted by the announcement that our in-flight movie would be The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
Lame. I finally get to fly on an airline that actually shows in-flight movies, and i get that crap?
anyway, following the announcement, i make a comment along the lines of “you’d think they’d show something with a little broader appeal… though maybe there’s a bunch of fourteen year-old girls on board.”
To which the until-now-silent, middle aged guy to my right responds “or a bunch of pedophiles.”
and then doesn’t say another word for the rest of the flight. But he did watch the movie. without sound.
February 8th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
I have a good friend that owns his own plane. He invited me to come out to the airport and see some vintage planes that were being showcased at the airport. We viewed the old war planes and climbed all over them. It was so much fun. After all of that, my friend’s son took us around the airport to show us the different planes that he had worked on as a mechanic. Now, my friend didn’t have his pilot’s license, but his 17 year old son did. My friend asked if we wanted to go up in his single engine plane. Branden and Rebeccah wanted to go, so I said yes. Anyway, we climbed into the 4 seater plane and taxied down the runway. Branden, my 10 year old wanted to sit next to the pilot, so I didn’t see any harm in that. That decision I would soon regret. We had to wear a headset in order to communicate because the engine was so loud. It was like being in a barrel with a locomotive passing by. We reached 55 miles per hour and left the ground, circling the airfield as we slowly climbed. We were only a few hundred feet above the ground as we flew past the river. As we made our way back toward the airport, the pilot asked Branden if he would like to fly the plane, and he quickly said yes. Rebeccah and I were helpless in the back two seats and I had absolutely no control over what was happening. Branden took the wheel and the plane began to rise then drop and rise then drop. I was on an endless roller coaster ride and the motion was making me nauseous. I finally got the 17 year old pilot’s attention and the ride came to a stop and not a moment too soon. We landed safely and I have not been back to that airport. Branden’s flying career began and ended in the same day. What a wild ride. We will all remember the day that Branden flew an airplane at age 10.