25 years and still no great Goonies game

Forget Lara Croft. Forget Indiana Jones. You want an adventure game that’ll sell millions? The Goonies. Seriously. Love it or hate it, that Spielberg/Donner film has gained popularity like no other 80’s film except maybe Ferris Bueller (and Bueller would make a lousy game). Despite The Goonies’ many, many…many flaws, it’s got the perfect scenario for a fantastic adventure-platformer.

Of course, there have been previous attempts:

The Apple 2 version of The Goonies was ambitious and successful for its day. Players flipped switches, activated traps, and distracted villains to get two Goonies safely to each screen’s exit. More of a puzzle game than a platformer, it followed the film’s plot and rewarded players with an animated view of the pirate ship sailing away, all in glorious Apple 2 color. All six of them.

The NES, of course, got Goonies 2. A big fan of the film, I actually played Goonies 2 all the way to its conclusion. I hit spiders with my yo-yo, climbed ladders, backtracked and opened about eight million doors to save that mermaid. Yeah, Goonies 2 was about rescuing a captive mermaid. My reward was a splitting headache, though I’d actually rate the game above average.

How would I do a new Goonies game? Stick to the movie, definitely. No one wants a “further adventures” game. We want pirate treasure, Chester Copperpot, One-Eyed Willie, Sloth, the falling boulders, the cannonball trap, the bone keyboard, the water slide, the ship…and the giant octopus that was cut from the movie, yet is loudly (and infamously) remembered by the characters in the film’s finale.

I’d make it a 2.5-D platformer, allowing for fast action, gorgeous graphics, sweeping camera moves and a slick frame rate. Players could control any Goony, swapping out with a single button press. The other Goonies would follow with competent A.I. and humorous animation depicting them tripping, bumping into each other, freaking out and arguing. Solid controls. I’d make it not too difficult, but highly replayable with flashy effects as points are awarded constantly for skillful jumps and good aim. It would have multiple routes, tons to discover, and dozens of traps, creatures and surprises added.

Any other Goonies fans out there who’d like a world-class videogame adventure for Mikey, Brand, Data, Mouth, Chunk, Andy and Stef? What would you put in it?

7 Responses to 25 years and still no great Goonies game

  1. Drahken says:

    I don’t know. I think the Goonies games are good enough? (heh heh. u c wut i did there?)

  2. David says:

    It should be Goonies III and feature the kids of the kids from Goonies 2. NOT!
    Maybe just a VC release of Goonies II. I don’t know if I want to see a completely new game. And while they’re at it, they should release the DuckTales game!

    Drahken is Cyndi Lauper!

  3. ac says:

    they’re gonna need a new movie sequel before anyone is going to invest in a game on that property. no one knows much about this except the over 30 crowd like myself.

  4. Richard says:

    ac –

    I agree it’s highly unlikely any developer would invest money in such a game, but I still think it’s an untapped goldmine with a larger fanbase than anyone realizes. Most of my younger family members and co-workers know the film from cable viewings and dvd rentals. This article was inspired by a recent family trip to Astoria, OR, where the original Goonies house is marked on the town map. We took a quick side-trip to see it, and were amazed at the steady flow of fans parking in the sleepy little neighborhood and trekking up the driveway to take pictures. All ages. All jumping up and down like kids at Christmas. The owners have a sign up welcoming lookers but requesting no cars on the property.

  5. frstOne says:

    I never played The Goonies II, but I played The Goonies on famicom, and it’s absolutely awesome. One of my favs nes/famicom games, if I think about it.

  6. _oMeGa_ says:

    I know next to nothing about The Goonies (because I am a terrible person,) but I’d love to see Telltale do a new Goonies game, or really any movie-based game. I can’t wait for their Back to the Future game, and their Jurassic Park game is sure to be cool too.

  7. llaffer says:

    I remmeber playing through this game as a kid. I think I finished it, but don’t 100% remmeber.

    And I definiately didn’t remmeber the plot. I forgot that it was a mermaid I was trying to save.

    The background music, very memorable (is that a good thing?)

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