If I ran a theme park, it would be “Super Mario Country”

Universal Florida has the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Disneyland Resort will have the huge, amazing Cars Land in 2012. If I had my own theme park, you can bet I’d try to get the rights for a Super Mario Country. And, yes, I’ve built one in just about every one of my countless Rollercoaster Tycoon parks.

Passing through a toad-guarded gate, you enter a full-scale Mushroom Kingdom where, of course, a festival is in full swing. The Starship Mario theme drifts through the air as you discover several amazing rides and one great restaurant:

Super Mario Adventures: This enormous dark ride (as intense and turbulent as Disneyland’s Indiana Jones Adventure) begins in Peach’s Castle and whisks you off on a fast-paced, hilarious journey to rescue the princess from Bowser’s clutches. Along the hectic, twisting, surprise-filled quest, you’ll encounter amazing special effects and animatronics of just about every Mario character imaginable. Bowser would pop in to threaten you with a new sure-fire can’t-miss trap about every fifteen seconds. The exit, of course would deposit you directly into the world’s largest Mario-themed gift shop.

Bowser’s Castle: On this gigantic mega-coaster, Bullet Bill trains hurtle you over, under, around and through Bowser’s home base, avoiding bubbling lava, fire fountains, Thwomps and Chain Chomps.

Luigi’s Mansion: Luigi’s finally wised up and used his adventuring coins to hire YOU to clean out his inherited property. Armed with vacuum-shaped, car-mounted weaponry, your vehicle winds through the creepy, dark surprises of this Ghost-Blasters style ride.

MarioKart: Of course. How could we not have a go cart ride inspired by the classic franchise? It would be an epic one-lap rally race around a very long track full of special effects and water splashes as you motor through nearly every Kart environment you’ve ever played.

Yoshi-Go-Round: A larger, full-scale rendition of the ride seen in Super Mario Sunshine. It plays cool calliope versions of Mario game themes, but watch out: The Yoshis might start singing, and earplugs are not provided!

Koopa Scramble: A gentle, low-altitude coaster for kids too small for Bowser’s Castle.

Mario and Luigi’s Pizzeria: Yes.

I can easily picture myself spending a couple of days here riding until I get sick. That’s my Mario theme park land. What would you put in yours?